Log in

My Bloodied Snow [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | My Deviant Site ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Fuck [01 Mar 2007|03:26am]
[ mood | numb ]

Fuck Donee... Fuck Love... Fuck life... Fuck all of you fuckers... Kim is my saving grace tonight. I'm done fucking feeling anything... I got rid of all feelings tonight.... I'm gonna be one cold, frigid, happy-to-be-alone, bitch...

Fuck ______ is the word of the day... take it as you will. And with that note, I'm done with everything.

Have a good one...

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

New... I guess [26 Jan 2007|12:45am]
[ mood | stressed ]

So yea, a lot has gone on in the past month and a half...

Mom went into surgery and came out okay. Her stage was 2.5/2.6... so she's gotta do radiation which equals 1 pill a day for 5 yrs. They were trying to get her to do chemo, but my fam thought that she wouldn't make it through *unlike all her fucking dumbass sisters trying to force her to do it*... so she decided not to do it. Which is best, cause I couldn't handle my mom dying right now. She's gonna get her implants in a few wks, they are just stretching the muscle and shit now, so she's in a lotta pain. Lots of pain killers... and then she drinks... and falls asleep and falls over and forgets shit... it's really bad time.

All i wanna do is talk to someone on the phone and no one has time for me right now... it's a bad time.

My two classes at NOVA are going okay. Great teachers, easy topics and whatnot, so I'm not complaining. Much easier than the 5 class schedule I had at JMU. I'm trying to transfer to GMU for next fall cause I can't handle going back to Madison. I won't make it, I know it. I hafta be home.

I really need a car, that's my first goal. I just bought a new phone tonite, an EnV to be exact, so be jealous. And I'm getting my check card w/i the week. I gotta get my license fixed at the DMV. I cleaned and moved my WHOLE room around, cause I know it's time for a change. I even threw out all the old notes I had kept from Paulie.... I know right, OLDDDD SHITTTT. But it happens.

I need a change, I need something new now... well everything new.

Work's going well too. Ruby's is pretty kick ass. I'm gonna hafta say it's the best job I've ever had. For the most part I have great managers and work with great ppl. But we just hired 5 new ppl, so I'm getting screwed on hrs... I really need to fix that, cause I need a lot more hrs per week. Not like anyone actually cares...

Donee's still an ass. He called me the other night. Bad shit. I fucking hate him... but not really cause I fucking love him so much... god I fucking hate my life. I can't even fucking describe it. But again... who cares? No one, that's who.

I need help... right now... please?

* 1 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

I should be out... [01 Dec 2006|08:01pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

It's a Friday night.. 7 PM... and I'm sitting here in front of my computer AGAIN. God I'm such a loser.

So mom goes into surgery on Monday. It's really scary, but I know she'll be okay. She might not even hafta do radiation or chemo afterwards, so that's the good news.

Thurs, December 14th is my last day at JMU!!! YAY!!! I can't wait to come home and see everyone...

I'm offically taking next semester off, so I will be in Nova til at least August. It makes the most sense, so we'll see how well this works. I am gonna get all A's and B's this semester though, so I'm really kinda excited about that.

I'M DONE WITH FUCKING ASAP!!! OH I'M FREE!!! Just got one last drug test on Mon Dec 11th, which is like a "check out" process since I'm moving, and then I have no case manager and I'm off of probation in May!!! :) God I can't believe I'm almost done w/ this, SOO fucking excited!

I'm gonna get a job, and a car, and then we'll see what happens :)

Donee's coming home next wk. He'll be in Nova dec 7 - 11 *Cause Ray's getting married* and then he's down to Danville... and he still has yet to tell me. I don't think I'm gonna get to see him, and I dunno man. I can't even type it out, so whatever.

I wanna go out tonite and get shitfaced... so Imma go work on that goal.

Peace and Love

* 1 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Busy Bee [08 Nov 2006|05:53pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I'm bored again, and I finally have a lil break for the rest of the wk, so here we go...

The 3rd lump came back benign, so that's good. Mom's getting a masectomy done on Decemeber 5th for her right breast AND she's getting reconstructive surgery that day too. She's choosing the masectomy instead of the lumpectomy, and I'm standing by her... even though everyone else is like "why is she doing that?". They need to fuck off and realize it's her decision and it'll make her feel good about her body again, so there.

Oh, and I never went on that date cause security man stood me up. He never called, so fuck that asshole... right? I'm really taking it as a sign that I'm not supposed to be dating, but w/e I guess. I've also decided that dating is ridiculous. There is no "good guy", just a bunch of random fucks til you can find one guy that you can tolerate for awhile. Love's dead... but don't mourn.

Moving on... I'm STILL doing well in school. Got a 92 on my art history midterm AND I TOTALLY rocked the hell outta the two tests I had today. I'm smart, whoda thunk it? Hah, yea... but I'm really proud of myself for it, good job Kati!

I talked to Donee for like 25 minutes last night. Nothing major... just a "hey, how are you... this is what's up" so I dunno. I felt sad after getting off the phone though just because i hate how things are between us. I'm sick of the waiting and uncertainty... but that's all gonna end soon one way or another.

And I've kinda decided... I might be taking next semester off. It really makes a lotta sense the more I think about it. I'm already a semester ahead anyways, so it wouldn't hurt me to take this one off. PLUS, I can't get into any classes next semester down here. So what's the point in spending another 6 grand for a bunch of random classes that I really don't need anyways? It makes NO sense. So I'm gonna try and take the 2 statistical psych classes in NOVA next semester *or maybe the summer* so that when I come back in the fall, I can just jump right into my major and minor classes. It's really a pretty sound decision... now I just gotta talk my dad into it. My mom is kinda iffy, but I explained to her my side, and she said she'd love to have me home. And I could get a job, and it would just be nice. So we'll see

Now I gotta go to the gym and a stupid Passport event... and then make a huge decision.

Peace and Love

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

New [01 Nov 2006|01:01pm]
[ mood | bored ]

SO yea, I'm still kinda sick, blah. I'm feeling better I just have a nasty, crouping cough... yay for cigarettes.

So I'm in the computer lab, b/c my laptop finally fried itself I guess. And my mother sent me my desktop... but in the process of transportation... everything inside fell outta place. And I have NO idea wtf to do w/ all those colors and wires and shit. I should not be allowed to try and fix it at all, hah. Hopefully Kevin's coming over and he'll help me out. But as of right now... KINDA pissed off that I have no computer of my own *tear*

So my mom went in for another biopsy today. The 1st two were in her right breast, and she did an MRI last wk before scheduling her surgery... and they found another lump in her left breast.... I dunno. I hope she calls me soon, I'm so worried. Just really fucking sucks.

But her surgery is scheduled for Nov 7th, the day after my dad's 50th birthday, oh joy. I wish I could be home for her, but I can't b/c of stupid fucking school... grrr... But everyone's been keeping her in their prayers, so thank you.

I'm still doing pretty well in school, other than I have an essay due tomorrow that I haven't started writing. I mean, I have notes for it, I just hafta put it together. Stupid Arthurian Legends class. Eh, and 2 tests next wk, PLUS I hafta sign up on Tues for my next semester courses. I dunno wtf I'm gonna do. I have a meeting tonite to apply for my psych major. Wish me luck!

Oh... and I'm prolly going on a date w/ that security guard tomorrow night :) I dunno, I feel bad, but at the same time, I'm more excited. Not telling donee though... not like he'd care anyways. I still miss him, but shhh I'll shut up about it

Only 4 wks left of ASAP.... AND I CAN GET MY LICENSE WHEN I GO HOME THIS WKEND!!!! heh FUCKING FINALLY!!! Now I just gotta call my dude and see what I hafta do to get it. Kinda excited, not gonna lie.

Sooo Imma go try and do some work now... or not... heh.

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

I"m dead... [16 Oct 2006|10:36pm]
[ mood | silly ]

Soo... the phone bill is supposed to be $120 - $150 per month... for 3 of us, no big deal, right?

.... I ran it up to $548 this month.... ohhh I'm in trouble... fucking Mallory man, hah. So now I hafta steam-clean my aunt's carpet when I go home this wkend to pay for the bill... even better.

Oh yea, and not to jinx anything... but I kinda met a guy... and might be going on a date... shhh

That is okay, right? Cause I'm feeling guilty already...

And School sucks, well Geology labs do, lol. And I live with crazy ppl, but it's funny sometimes, esp cause one of them is a damn foriegner!! *Australians making fun of The good ol' U S of A... hah she's silly*

And Imma go now... cause I need a cig, and ya, no more rambling.

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Kinda Good News [12 Oct 2006|05:03pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

The Second biopsy came back... and it's not cancer. *longggg exhale* So that means mom only hasta get a lumpectomy done and maybe a lil chemo instead of a whole masectomy and a lot of chemo.

Oh that makes me feel SOOO much better.

Plus I just finished my art history midterm... so I've got nothing to do til class on monday... other than community service and getting wonderfully drunk.

Yay for the wkend!

* 1 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Shitty Day [10 Oct 2006|09:02pm]
[ mood | worried ]

So Mom got her test results back... and it's positive... she's got breast cancer....

Today fucking sucks, and I really just wanna go home and I can't. And I'm sick of listening to everyone bitch...

fuck life sucks

* 1 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Update [10 Oct 2006|09:01pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So yea, I'm actually doing really fucking well in all my classes... I might actually end up with straight A's this semester :) Wow, now I would LOVE to be able to say that. The lowest grade I've gotten so far is an 85 in my Ethics class... so I think I could handle a couple of B's, heh.

But Good GPA HERE I COME!! Then I can finally get started on my major and get the fuck outta here. Yay!

Social life is going okay. I've been meeting new ppl, hanging out w/ some old, going out occasionally. I don't drink that much, but the problem is that when I do I go to EXTREMES and black out, get sick, or sometimes both. Eh, I'm toning it down, but I really wanna go out this wkend.

I'll be done w/ Community service after this friday and saturday. WHOO HOO!!! Then I can get my license back Novembe 2nd, and I MIGHT BE getting a car before the end of the year, so we'll see. I only have like 6 more ASAP classes and then I'm done w/ that, and I finally got my meeting set up for next wk so I can see if I've been wasting my thursday nights or not.

Going home to herndon Oct 20th for Nick's 16th b-day, tis wonderful. I'm so tired right now it's insane; I don't even wanna get outta bed. But I'm starving... and therein lies the dilemma.

Haven't talked to Donee in a wk, and I gotta say that kinda sucks. We talked a few times last wk and it was really good conversations. Like, we were getting along, and he finally sounded happy again... and now he doesn't answer the phone when i call *I've only called him once a day and only 4 days outta the last wk*... I just, I dunno how to feel. I wanna give up on it, but I dunno if I should or if things will get better soon. I just wish he'd call me... but that's just a dream. God do I miss him...

And on THAT note... I have a headache, so imma go.

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Hinder... yea I'm kinda in love with them [27 Sep 2006|02:59pm]
[ mood | sad ]

"Bliss (I Don't Wanna Know)"

(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
I'll go ahead and pour myself a drink
I really couldn't care less what you think
Well I don't have to listen now
Live this day down
If I can't feel a thing
You might as well save your goodbyes
We can give this train wreck one last ride
I'm gonna have to listen now
Live this day down
If I don't make things right
I'll tell you one last time

I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
So save your goodbye kiss
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)

I woke up with a heartbeat in my head
I reached for the bottle by the bed
I saw your side was not slept in
Cold sheets again
Remind me of what you said
We need to take a break for a while
It's been so long since I smiled
I don't wanna listen now
Live this day down
With you so drunk and high
So I'll say goodbye

I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't want to know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over

I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
Now I know I can't stay sober
Cause you left me here like this
I don't wanna know
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
So save your goodbye kiss
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over
If it's over
I don't wanna know
If it's over
If it's over
I don't wanna know

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Officially... [26 Sep 2006|03:34pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

Yea... so Officially single now... and I dunno what else to say other than I am completely heartbroken, it hurts. And of course all I can do is just cry about it, cause that's what I do.

I just miss him so fucking much... that's my baby, always has been and always will be... now if only he'd realize that...

* 1 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Best Idea today [11 Sep 2006|12:25pm]
[ mood | angry ]

So my roomate alyn is a fucking bitch, and I'm REALLY considering just slicing her throat in her sleep. Sounds like the best idea ever, right?

She actually had the nerve to tell me today "so you were in and out a lot last night, huh?" and I was like "no, I went outside twice to be on the phone, once for 45 minutes and then once for 30" and she was like "oh yea, allie and I couldn't get to sleep last night" and I was like "oh really? why is that?" and she ACTUALLY said "I dunno, I guess it was the light from outside"....

Oh my fucking God... it's not MY fault that she couldn't pass out for 2 hrs... there's something wrong w/ HER... it's not the fucking light from the hallway that I opened TWICE for 2 seconds!

Ahhh... she just bugs the shit outta me. She's OBVIOUSLY never hadta share her room w/ anyone, and she thinks that she can just get whatever she wants... she can play HER music but I can't play mine... she can watch what SHE wants on TV as loud as she wants... she can have her shit over 2/3 of the room and 2/3 of the bathroom... but I say nothing to her.

Yes your highness... I bow down to you in all your fucking glory... just so I can shoot you in the kneecap.

Sorry, I'm in a bad mood, and today just is a bad day b/c of what it is. Plus, I know as soon as I leave this room, Rachael and Alyn'll start talkin about me. I just don't know how to calm the fuck down.

Save me....

* 3 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Spoke too soon [07 Sep 2006|11:08am]
[ mood | excited ]

So donee realized that he fucked up... and how much he missed me... and how he wanted to be with only me, even though he's moving.... and called me crying at like 1:30 am last nite to tell me so.

Wanna know what changed his mind?... He talked to Mal last night, lol. She is a wonderful person, and I adore her.

So I guess we're getting back together, lol. Mal did say that my shitty wk was gonna go from last thursday til yesterday, and that today something WONDERFUL would happen.

I guess life's starting to look up :)

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Blah [05 Sep 2006|10:29am]
[ mood | crushed ]

So back at jmu.... meh....

Single.... cause Donee's the biggest asshole I've met in awhile.... again meh...

Hopefully a few of my friends are coming down soon.... yay if we get to have fun

I'll do details latere

* 1 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

What's New? [09 May 2006|06:06pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

So yea, a lot has gone on since the last entry... of course...

Donee and I started officially dating on December 31st, and it's been almost 5 months. It was kinda cute how it happened... we were at the hotel for my b-day party, and we were getting drunk and we were standing there holding each other. He looked at me and was like "we need to talk about us" or something to that effect, and I said yea, but when? And he laughed and was like "it's your birthday, whenever you want to" and I changed the subject. Later he was sitting on the edge of the bed and I was straddling his lap *not in the dirty way... you perverts, heh* and we started talkin about it again. I just looked at him and flat out told him "I want to be with you, and no one else. And I want everyone to know that." He just looked back at me and said "that's what I want too..." so of course I was like "really?" and stuff and we were laughing and I tackled him with kisses and hugs on the bed, heh. Of course the boy hasta say "... well now I hafta change my myspace 'status'..." lol such a dork, but I love him.

Yea... we got to the "L" word, and I"m happy about it. I love this guy to death, and I know he feels the same way. We don't fight at all either, which I find extremely weird, but it works I suppose. We can talk about anything, and be completely honest, and it only makes our relationship stronger. He even told my parents he wants to marry me... wow. Of course that's a LONG way off, heh, but it's nice to know that I have that commitment from him. He's perfect, and I adore him for that. I miss him a lot right now cause I haven't seen him since saturday... but I hope he'll be down soon.

Oh yea, I'm home from school too, till august. But, I got a possession charge for takin the rap for my roomate and suitemates, so I lost my license... which sucks. Cause I really thought I'd atleast have it for the summer... but I guess I'll make due. The only shitty part is that Donee's car broke down. So I have no license and he has no car or cell phone, or any phone... we make the perfect couple, lol.

I'm glad to be home, and I really don't wanna go back down to school in the fall. I need to check about transfering to GMU, cause I'd rather be up here and stay at home, cause I think I'd focus more on school, plus I could get a job and make more cash. I dunno, we'll see. I gotta look into it.

Parents are still fighting, it was better when I was down at school cause atleast I didn't hafta hear it, and they were actually EXCITED to see me and hear from me then. I dunno now, just kinda sucks. Wish they didn't hafta deal w/ this court and possession shit, so we'll see.

Also trying to get a job at Ruby Tuesday's, hah. I dunno what I'm gonna do if they won't hire me, cause who else would take someone with my job history *gettin fired from sears, and the nasty relationship I had w/ my bosses at Chuck E. Cheese* and then my "criminal record".... it's just all so depressing, blah. I wish I could just like go back and erase the past semester at school, but until then, I just gotta suck it up and deal with it right?

It's been nice seeing all these old friends though, didn't think I'd ever hang out with this group again. But it's cool, everyone keeps reminiscing about 2 summers ago, which is fun, but it's making me realize that things are never gonna be like that again; people are never going to be like that again. Which is, in a way, as good as it is sad. Plus I haven't talked to stephie since my b-day and I miss her like hell, but eh, what can you do, right?

Oh yea, my birthday party... for the most part... was smashing! I'm so glad that everyone came who did, and it was a glorious drunken time to be had by all, hah. It's sad that that's the last time I remember being around ppl that I actually liked and had a good time.

This summer is gonna be my "over-haul" summer... everything's gonna change, and I'm gonna make myself better. Hope you all enjoyed the update.

* 2 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

I don't know [24 Dec 2005|03:21pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

So I was in the worst mood yesterday... and I think it somewhat carried over to today. Like, EVERYONE is pissing me off. Especially my fuckin roomate and suitemates....

SO yea, apparently the three of them and Mark D. decided to meet up in DC and hang out all nite and didn't even fuckin think to call me. I'm like 30 minutes away... and rachael drove all the way from fredericksburg and hayley from MD. What fuckin bitches, and I kinda told rach I was pissed today and she was like "well, it was a last minute thing, didn't even think to call".... fucking cunts man. I don't know why I even try.

I was just being a huge bitch to everyone... maybe it's cause I spent 8 or 9 hrs b/t thurs and fri at Dulles mall... which sucks ass. My mom even gave me a valium last nite cause I was being such a bitch. I ended up passin out while stephie, laura + her bf, donielle, and camille were here. Laura left, and the other 3 + chris woke me up w/ spaghettios and a 40, I was still being psycho, but i felt better. So we got drunk and played cards and chilled. So I def started acting better. I passed out around 1:30 so I missed Donee's phone call, but I know he'll prolly hit me up today. He's the only reason I got outta bed last nite, lol. Cause he called while they were tryin to wake me up.

SO YEA... Donee has been amazing. I love it that he calls me every day and we get to talk for a lil. He ended up not coming down wednesday b/c he took extra shifts at work to make extra money for christmas and so that not only does he have off for my b-day... but any day he wants b/t then and when I go home on the 8th :) so fuckin sweet. So thursday, after work he gets his cuz and drives atleast an hr and a half in rush hr traffic just to come down and take me out to dinner for an hr even though he wasn't hungry :) I don't know anyone else that would do that for me.

So that night, after he went home, I ended up gettin drunk *I chugged half a 40 to get a pack of cigs... and that was the start of it, hah* and so he called me and we ended up talkin for 2 hrs till like 3 am, both drunk off our asses, and it was the sweetest most fun convo eva. God do I adore him. I missed him so much, and now he's back :) I can't wait till my b-day, apparently he got me somethin that he says is "an insane birthday present". But all I really want his for him to come down, and sleep in his arms again, heh.

Hah, think I talk about him enough? Yea, I know I do, atleast this is only a lil bit of what's been going on b/t he and I, lol, so feel lucky I'm not ramblin more. He is seriously the best christmas/b-day present ever... *sigh*... silly me.

So now, Imma keep listenin to Dispatch, smoke my cigs, and go take my bro to Best Buy to get my mom a christmas gift. Wish me luck!

Peace and Love,

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

hah [20 Dec 2005|02:10am]
[ mood | happy ]

I just hafta post this amazing convo I just had w/ my drunk roomie over AIM... well... cause it's just that damn hilarious :)

rachael 121786: katiii im drunkgim going to bed
rachael 121786: gioodnight
RedDragonLips: hah oh lordy
rachael 121786: haha
RedDragonLips: goodnite darling
rachael 121786: goodnight!!
RedDragonLips: imma get drunk tomorrow, and call you :-)
rachael 121786: i puked :-(
rachael 121786: pkl!
RedDragonLips: lol oh no
rachael 121786: ok!!
RedDragonLips: hah
rachael 121786: hha
rachael 121786: i missdyyouuu
RedDragonLips: I miss you too!!!
rachael 121786: i miss everyone
rachael 121786: im so sad withytouyu yall
rachael 121786: but i need toggo to bed
rachael 121786: im bery rdrunk
RedDragonLips: awww well, my cuz is throwing me a hotal b-day party
RedDragonLips: so you are more than welcome to come
rachael 121786: and i toko more boing hits
rachael 121786: whaat
RedDragonLips: hah yay!
rachael 121786: callym
rachael 121786: me
rachael 121786: tomorowne ok?
RedDragonLips: hah yes ma'am... now go to bed
rachael 121786: hha ok!~!~
rachael 121786: klove you slutface
RedDragonLips: lol sweet dreams, peace and nite
rachael 121786: haha
RedDragonLips: love you too whore :-)
rachael 121786: yayaa sluts allaround
rachael 121786: goodnight!q!@
RedDragonLips: OH that's how we roll, heh goodnite
rachael 121786: HAHAHAS
rachael 121786: what
rachael 121786: imsorry
RedDragonLips: hah BED
rachael 121786: uogoodnight!!
rachael 121786: lol
rachael 121786: im belig tihyin
rachael 121786: i think
rachael 121786: i wat a cig
RedDragonLips: lol I think you are too
RedDragonLips: oh no
rachael 121786: nbut i think my dad is still awake
rachael 121786: :-(
RedDragonLips: don't draw on anyone, k?
RedDragonLips: lol
rachael 121786: noo booooo ion him
rachael 121786: hahaok
RedDragonLips: hah good, just smoke a cig in the bathroom and turn on the fan and spray stuff, it'll work
rachael 121786: noicat
rachael 121786: my dad has a nose like a damn druhg dog!!
RedDragonLips: lol oh no
rachael 121786: he ksmelledm elast night
rachael 121786: and knew i was stonedbut i denide it
rachael 121786: ;olol
RedDragonLips: lol good, just keep denying it
rachael 121786: i walsk ike NOOOOOO DAD
rachael 121786: haa
rachael 121786: okbedtftime
RedDragonLips: hah yes yes bedtime
rachael 121786: night night mothertersa
rachael 121786: lol
RedDragonLips: goodnite pothead heh
rachael 121786: biiiiotchhhhh
rachael 121786: hahaa I MSIMDS YOU!
RedDragonLips: O:-)
RedDragonLips: miss you too!
rachael 121786: hah
rachael 121786: ok be good use bprotechtion
RedDragonLips: but of course
rachael 121786: dodnt ave any babie
rachael 121786: s
RedDragonLips: you too
RedDragonLips: lol no babies
rachael 121786: no baies
RedDragonLips: babies = badness
rachael 121786: theyre baddd
rachael 121786: BAD!
RedDragonLips: hah yes
RedDragonLips: yes yes yes
rachael 121786: theycry and poop
rachael 121786: and peepee
rachael 121786: hahaa
RedDragonLips: lol
RedDragonLips: that they do
rachael 121786: oh fgod irs bedtiome
rachael 121786: ;olol
rachael 121786: m sorry
rachael 121786: foogdnight
RedDragonLips: hah it's all good, go sleep it off
RedDragonLips: goodnite darlin
rachael 121786: haha peaswce
rachael 121786 is away at 2:09:36 AM.

Hah I love her, she is amazing. I really do miss Hoffman and JMU, but damn am I glad to be home. Not only do I get to see all my family and friends... but I got to come home to him :)

More about what happened saturday lata, cause I gotta crash cause I'm starting work early tomorrow, well if I wanna go early.

Hah whatever :) Spread the Love man heh


*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

OMG [17 Dec 2005|06:53am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

So yea... there's a few things about school I haven't written about... but this is WAYYYY more important...

... guess who's back and found me on myspace...... DONEE!!!!

Like omg wow. I seriously neva thought I would eva see the boy again. It's been almost a yr and a half since I last saw him, which would be the night he, eddie, and jr kidnapped me at 3am and we sat in his apt from then till midnite just drinkin and smoking and having an amazing time....it was the night before he left for Phoenix the first time.

So wednesday I was having the most INCREDIBLE day. I had been up all tuesday nite, took two finals, then just chilled w/ everyone all day. Hayley and I hung out for most of the day and we had a great time.

So around 8pm that nite *after I am VERY high and still hopped up on adderol* I got on myspace and checked my messages and found that Donee had left me one. It said:

Title: OMG!!!!!!! I FOUND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"DAMN!!!! I missed you so much!!! I went to phoenix and got help with my drug problem =-) Now I'm back in the area for good. I cant tell you how much I missed you Virginia!!!! I WANT TO SEE YOU>>>>>>>>>AAAAHHHH =-) Hit me up. I miss you and love you to death!!!!


Now omg... tell me that doesn't make ur heart melt... so I sent him a message back w/ my number, and went outside to call, well ANYONE that would answer to tell them the amazing news, and I talked to Kim and James for a moment... and he called me. Omg, I was so shocked, and a lil stoned, that I was completely speechless, and he said he wanted to see me and all that jazz, and we talked for awhile.

I am so motherFUCKING excited!!!! I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT HE FOUND ME!!! or that he had missed me so much... I mean, he's been on my mind forever, and he's the one guy that I've always really wanted back in my life, esp since I never got to say goodbye to him.

So I was up at 5 am *it's now 7* and sent him a message letting him know I was thinking about him and couldn't wait to see him. So he sent me back two messages around 6:50. The second was asking me if I was busy today cause today was his day off and he would come down to see me.

Wanna know what the first one said?....

"I just woke up to make a frozen pizza. I must have fallen asleep really fast last night. This week was pretty busy at work...... I think I might go do some Christmas shopping today.......... So, yeah I'm going to make SOOOO much time in my schedule to come down and see you while your on break. This may sound silly......but I'm counting you as my top Christmas present so far this year. =-) I am so excited just to have found you again. YYYYEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH!!! ttys sweetheart.


.... God I've missed him so much... and he's back... and still the same sweet Donee :) Plus he's healthier now... hah I can't believe I'm THIS smitten over someone. I know I say I like different guys alot, but for those of ya'll that know about Donee, you totally understand this.

So he called me at 6 am *cause he sent a text asking if I was awake, and it had woke me up from a bad dream I was having*... and He's gonna come see me today :):):):)

TODAY'S IS THE DAY!!!!! FINALLY!!!... I dunno if I can go back to sleep :)

OH YEA... and everyone come visit me while i"m home in herndon:)

I'm the happiest person in the world right now

Peace and Love,

* 2 got what they deserved The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

Update [06 Dec 2005|03:03pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So yea... school's been going on heh. Haven't been doing too much work and I need too. I have like 2 essays to write tonight, and finals are next wk. I'm just praying I don't flunk outta college in my first semester, cause I SOOO wanna be here. But I understand that this is my "fuck-up" semester, so I DEF need to kick it up a notch next semester.

I think I'm gonna be fine... I hope.

So yea, been partying a lot, and just having an absolute blast. Our last wkend before break *2 wkends ago* we went out HARD heh. The first nite we ended up in ashby, and I told everyone that my goal for the night was to be the "least sober person going home"... which I think I succeeded in doing heh. We had a nice drunken sing along on the way home and I took a shitload of pics that no one remembered the next day, hah... AND THEN WE GOT KICKED OFF THE DRUNK BUS!!! LoL, somebody pulled the emergency cord and we hadta get kiked off and ran to the gas station and I didn't know where we were, and I was making my drunken phone calls and everyone was like "oh no..." So we finally got in a cab... where I wouldn't stop talkin and geekin the fuck out, lol. Everyone found it amusing, and I had an amazing night.

Saturday we ended up going to Liz's friend's 21st b-day party... and it was supposed to be a "small gathering".... but we ended up rolling out with 14 ppl from Hoffman... then like 8 more showed up later, hah we ended up RUNNING that party. I ran the keg all nite, and got the cute nickname of "Keg master" lol. And the tap broke, and I was drunk... and it was complicated, but I fixed the problem and got someone to bring a keg. And I was talkin to the birthday girl all nite and she was kik ass, hah. She was glad I was runnin the keg. Kevin and Emily were chillin w/ me too and we were just completely goofin off and it wasw fun.

Emily ended up gettin this really cute blonde guy to dance with me... his name is mark... so I hung out w/ him and his other friend... and then they got us a cab and we went back to their house, cause I didn't wanna go back to the dorm, lol. And we had a cab driver named Big Bird who was the COOLEST MOFO eva! Alls we talked about was drugs and good music, and mark's friend bought me cigs on the way home. Then we took GB's and played one round of beer pong, then called Big Bird again, and he gave us a free ride to IHOP where the boys bought me food. I ended up almost passing out at the table and unable to eat cause I was just THAT drunk hah... so mark and I went back to his house... and I woke up naked on the floor with 3 blankets on me and mark lying next to me hah. It was a damn good nite... I have the rug burn on my knees to prove it ;)

Then break was fun, got to chill w/ the fam and see some old friends and do a hell of a lot of laundry, but it was nice to get back and relax. And get drunk a couple nites, heh.

So yea... that's enough writing for right now, I hafta eventually jump in the shower and go eat dinner... yea I know it's like 3:30 pm, lol... I dunno why I can't wake up till 1 pm.

Peace and Love,

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

*sigh* [29 Nov 2005|12:05am]
[ mood | bored ]

Soooooo...... I'm awake...... and bored..... and confused........ and very very stupid

Doesn't this sound like fun? :)

But I do enjoy The Drew Carey show, but not the music coming outta my bathroom right now.

I am pretty damn high as well, lol just felt like throwing that on in there.

So yea, that's it, the end, heh.

Peace and Love,

*The sight of you i despise, I'll help you meet ur maker and I won't think twice

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]